Thanksgiving is about gratitude, family and, let’s be honest, an unreasonable amount of food. A little humor makes the long drive, the crowded kitchen and the third slice of pie even better.
These funny Thanksgiving quotes are clean and original, written by our editors for cards, captions, place cards and family group chats.
Our editor’s top picks
- I’m thankful for stretchy pants and second helpings.
- My Thanksgiving diet plan: eat now, regret never.
- Talk turkey to me.
- Thanksgiving: when the pie-to-person ratio finally makes sense.
- Gobble ’til you wobble.
Funny Thanksgiving quotes about food
For the main event.
- Calories don’t count on Thanksgiving. That’s the rule.
- I came for the family. I stayed for the stuffing.
- Pie is a vegetable if it’s pumpkin.
- Mashed potatoes: my love language.
- Leftovers are just Thanksgiving, round two.
- Save room for dessert? I saved a whole stomach.
- Gravy is not a condiment. It’s a lifestyle.
- Turkey, then nap. That’s the plan.
Funny Thanksgiving quotes about family
For the relatives around the table.
- Thankful for family, even the ones who talk politics at dinner.
- Thanksgiving: when your aunt asks why you’re still single, again.
- We don’t need a football game. We have family debates.
- Grateful for family and a door that locks during nap time.
- The kids’ table is where the real party is.
- Family is like gravy: warm, a little lumpy and always there.
- Thanksgiving is a family reunion with extra carbs.
- I love my family. I love pie a little more.
Funny Thanksgiving captions
For food photos and family selfies.
- Stuffed like the turkey.
- Food coma loading…
- Pie, oh my.
- Fall-ing for pie.
- Thankful, grateful, full.
- Just here for the rolls.
- Gravy boat captain.
- Out-eating everyone since [year].
Funny Thanksgiving quotes for cards
Short lines to write beside a sincere wish.
- Happy Thanksgiving! May your pants stay forgiving.
- Wishing you a Thanksgiving full of pie and zero dishes.
- May your turkey be juicy and your relatives be quiet.
- Happy Turkey Day! Loosen your belt with pride.
- Be thankful and eat like nobody’s watching.
- May your stuffing be moist and your naps be long.
- Hope your Thanksgiving is more fun than a parade balloon.
- Eat, drink and be grateful (then nap).
Funny Thanksgiving quotes for work
Office-safe laughs before the holiday.
- Out of office: busy eating pie.
- Thankful for a four-day weekend and a full fridge.
- My Thanksgiving goal: zero emails, all gravy.
- Grateful for coworkers who bring snacks to the potluck.
- This meeting could have been a pie break.
- Happy Thanksgiving, team! See you after the food coma.
- Thankful the printer is off for the holiday, too.
- Productivity drops, pie consumption rises.
Frequently asked questions
How we put this list together: All quotes are original, clean lines written by our editors for family tables, cards and social posts. Written and reviewed by John Moler, editor at Graceful Names. See our editorial policy.
